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April 6th, 2008
02:40 am - blame.the.mafia
I have finally started to sell my stuff, and you can look at it here:
blame.the.mafia
or click the banner to take you there! I really hope you guys enjoy what I'm putting up, feedback is a plus!
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September 8th, 2006
04:09 pm
i love how harry potter has hijacked my life in the past week. i've finished the first two books, and i'm ready to start the third....but i must resist. that is until i force myself to finish my 1,500 word lab report, which i already got a week's extension on.
aaaah.
WAY TO BE AWESOME AT LIFE.
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July 9th, 2006
01:15 am
ok. my cousin is having a baby. again. and it's a boy. again. so it's time to tell me which name you like best!....again. some of the names from the last list are on here, but most are new.
xavier
gavin
donovan
nolan
parker
eli(jah)
hayden
graham
forrest
owen
conor
reese
emerson
theo(dore)
luke
victor
gabriel
everett
warren
rufus
sidney
calvin
hugh
abner
jonas
wesley
spencer
leland
noah
ferdinand
miles
holden
collin
logan
sawyer
ezra
jameson
nigel
quincy
landen
griffen
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July 2nd, 2006
06:17 pm - PARTY: hosted by myself, my dad, and hugh jackman
if i don't see you there....well let's just say i don't want any harsh feelings.
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April 29th, 2006
10:19 am
there's nothing quite like passing someone on the street and having them look straight through you. it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside.
fuck you too.
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February 10th, 2006
01:55 pm - what 2.50 can get you at the thrift store....
all i had to do was take off the ugly sleeves that were on it and fix the hem.
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January 8th, 2006
12:09 am - break
christmas was fun
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December 4th, 2005
11:29 pm - a little visit to yesteryear...
http://www.angelfire.com/comics/starlette/journal.html
that's the link to the website i first started to make when i was 15. hilarious.
here's a little wisdom from my 16 year old self:
July 7, 2002 I believe: in doing things on your own terms. in love at first site. that most people are stupid, but only because those around them tolerate thier stupidity. you should spend the rest of your life doing what you love. style should be original and not something to be done in an effort fit in with something. that self pity is a waste of time. being picky isn't always a bad thing, but can be when taken to an extremity. everyone is weird, some hide it better than others. hugging is the best. regret is a waste of time. every picture says a thousand words. inspiration can be found almost anywhere. beauty is everywhere. perfection can result from chaos. deep down, most people don't change. money causes more problems than it solves. in following your intuition, and that's not just a feeling in your gut.
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November 7th, 2005
October 30th, 2005
11:45 pm - hair cut and halloween
i'm only going to give you two guesses as to what i was for halloween....
more of my fun halloween times at the link below:
http://photobucket.com/albums/v232/comix_dork/halloween%2005/?start=20
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October 26th, 2005
10:31 pm - IT'S GONE
more pictures to come later. right now, homework.
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October 10th, 2005
11:21 pm - a lyrical post...
here is the current soundtrack on my mind at the moment.
i'm not always this depressed. but i know it's something i need to go through to get better.
( songs and lyrics included in cut )
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October 3rd, 2005
12:34 am - CREEPS!
ok i've heard this like three times before, and i finally investigaed, but apparently i look a lot like this girl on the show "angel"
http://www.amy-acker.com/pictures/AmyAcker095.jpg
tis true, we look alike, but only when she's on the show. every other picture i found of her we look NOTHING alike.
and this is what i'm doing instead of my homework. i'm fun.
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September 25th, 2005
10:03 am - depressing update part duex
by far the last 4 months of my life have been the shittiest. i'm not trying to exaggerate or anything either. probably the only thing worse than this was my grandma dying 3 days after i graduated from high school.
loving someone who doesn't love you, but once did...it's rough. and i can't stop thinking about him fucking that other girl.
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August 21st, 2005
10:51 pm - leaving soon...
well as i sat in my room with nothing to do, or more acurately, too lazy to do anything, i was thinking about the things i'd like to do before i leave:
eat at thai 9
get candy at koyama
have a picnic at ludlow falls
go to wegerzyn
get those awesome pics from ludlow falls developed
have a marathon with many friends involving cheesy old sci fi movies, and make fun of said movies
go through all of my piles of shit and determine what i don't really need anymore
dance, like there's no tomorrow
see janna's new apartment
register for classes (yeah i need to do that still)
eat sno cones
go to the comic book store
buy the things that i'll consider a luxery when i'm in chicago:
-a nice razor
-film
-watercolors
-shoooooes
that reminds me, go to freakin the village and buy my ass some pants. my hips have grown since last winter, and i need pants in chicago (unfortunately)
have more picnics
bowling would be fun again
hang out with 123289742 people
-rosemary
-meghan dillion
-other awesome people, those two just came to mind since i have yet to see them in 3 months
get a new debit card cause i lost mine
there's plenty of other fun things to do in dayton that i'd like to do before i leave, such as going to the laser show, doing laser tag, adventure golfing, but i am sooooo fucking poor right now. thank you showcase cinemas for sucking the life and patience out of me. my loyalties have run out. no more seasonal, no more free movies....well, for my friends at least. i'm pretty sure my friends working there will still let me in when i visit.
if you have any other suggestions or if you want to be down with some of this shit, let me know. t-10 days till i leave.
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August 6th, 2005
08:49 pm - COMIC CON: DAY 2
even more pics and fun!
( Read more... )
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12:40 am - COMIC CON: DAY 1
me in my costume as sage, black queen of the hellfire club...next to a giant spidey
this contains about ( 28 pics )
mooooore pics tomorrow!
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August 1st, 2005
July 18th, 2005
01:46 am - ***bi anual life update post***
that's right folks. anytime something remotely interesting/shitty happens, that means update time. real updates, not like random surveys or short blurbs. let's get the small stuff out of the way...
car died. got a new one. now i'm completely broke. but at least now when i call my friends they won't have to worry about carting my ass around anymore.
still work at the movie theater (for the summer). chances are if i don't invite you to the movies, i probably don't want to get you in for free. so don't call me up *specifically* to get in for free damnit. i don't mind if you come in when i happen to be working and you want to get in free...i'm not trying to be a bitch about it because it's hard to get you in for free or something. in fact it is quite easy. half the time you probably wouldn't even need to find me to get in. it's easy sneaking in, i swear. i just hate not hanging out with people, or ever seeing them, unless they want to get into a movie for free. it makes me feel awesome (or not).
still going to school in chicago (at the art institute). i kind of like it a lot but kind of hate being in debt forever.
wedding crashers>willy wonka. there i said it.
i start school on september 1st.
i don't work enough hence the lack of cash.
today i died my hair a dark brown. we ran out of dye before we finished my massive head of hair, so part of it looks...not done. but it's wash out stuff, so i'm touching it in before the comic con in a few weeks anyway.
my future roommate has found us an apartment. i need to get $515 for the security deposit. yeah, that's coming from the land of magic and rainbows (aka - i'll be pulling that money out of my ass somehow.)
yes i still read comics and it's one of the only things i don't feel guilty about spending money on.
guy friends having a crush on you STILL sucks. and has been unfortunate for as long as i can remember.
right now more than ever i wish i were 16 again. boooy oh boy would i do things differently. and i'd still have my precious explorer, my sweet sweet car how i miss thee. :(
now onto some bigger updates. news flash! i'm completely miserable right now!
when i say right now i mean this very moment. because i'm not sad all of the time, just whenever i think about the fact that my relationship with andy is completely over. which is pretty often. the past few months i had been in denial thinking, oh well, things'll get better. i'll explain a bit better. back in may, andy and i had a talk in which i told him that i needed some time to myself. i was going to be spending the summer in dayton while he would be living/working in chicago for the summer, so it would be an easy and convenient time to spend apart from eachother. our relationship was kind of crappy the past few months, and i was increasingly moody all of the time and he hadn't seemed to care/notice. i know he had to have noticed and cared, but he wasn't doing anything about me being cranky all of the time. as some of you fellas like to say, i was "pmsing." but most people don't pms for 3 months. really i was just unhappy and felt like we weren't putting much effort into our relationship, nor was i convinced that andy was all that interested in me at the time, despite what he told me. so i felt a break from eachother was a good solution...spend some time apart, start to appreciate the good things about eachother, you know, distance makes the heart grow fonder, all that good shit. not to mention get some time to think about life as single units. 2 and a half years is a long time to be considering someone else in a lot of your decisions...well of course andy was completely against the idea of a break. until two weeks later when he tells me that he was unhappy as well and thinks some time apart is good. and by the way, he isn't sure if he loves me anymore. oh and he wants to date other people as well (something i did not want or propose in our time apart). so i say, alright, that's fine, not like i have much of a choice anyway. a month goes by. andy comes to ohio...we see eachother and it is awesome. it was exactly like it was a year before, nothing complicated, me not being crabby, and he was genuinely happy, and i was too. i was hopeful. we decided at the end of the summer, when i come back to chicago, then would be the time to focus on eachother and getting our relationship back on track. put a little more effort into our relationship, specifically more effort than we were the last few months of the school year. another month goes by. we talk on the phone occasionally, talk online every once in a while. things are fine. we each have our fun with our friends and flirting with other people. here's where things don't work out as planned and the unexpectedly shitty things happen....
all of that stuff about learning to appreciate eachother, look forward to the things we took for granted when we did see eachother, work on ourselves a bit....i did those things. i was imagining coming back to chicago and having it be like the one night andy came to ohio a month earlier where we were both happy again, only this time it would last, and we'd both be happier living off of our schools' campuses. having good roommates, and feeling happier with that situation would relieve a lot of stress. and i began to really miss hanging out with him, as i had hoped he would in return. and whenever people asked about us, i would say, oh, we're taking some time apart to think about ourselves. but when i get back to chicago we'll work things out.
it is amazing how much i began to feel things going wrong within the last week. i suddenly began to get this fear that andy would not want to be with me when i got back. why is this? well first i realized that andy had not called or tried to contact me in at least 2 weeks. i was the one making all attempts at communication. so i call him to see what is wrong.
i could go into great detail about exactly what he said, but i don't really have to. long story short....after much thought, andy decided that he doesn't want to work things out when i get back to chicago. he enjoys being single, it is much easier than being with me, and he doesn't think he can fully put himself into the relationship again. and he wants something more "exciting" because we were becoming monotonous. (oh and he discussed this with his school counselor as well, probably for a whopping 2 hours in total). he says nothing about figuring out how he really feels about me, but vaguely hints at coming to the conclusion that no, he does not love me anymore. at what point did he stop? hard to say. but i think he stopped when the "first love/high school romance" phase ended and he realized, oh, this is just the first girl i've ever been with for a long time, but that doesn't mean i REALLY love her....
i'd like to say that i'm better off and that i deserve someone who doesn't consider me too much work or a burden to avoid, because i do deserve someone who appreciates the good things about being with me. in the months when i had decided that yes, andy is worth being with even though we have rough times, and that being in a relationship with him is worth missing out on a few other social gatherings, he had come to the exact opposite conclusion. and it fucking sucks. keggers and dumb sluts > being with me. hanging out with his new friends and not having to worry about ever calling me or seeing me > snuggling with me, talking to me, kissing me, having that guaranteed date to anywhere. the possibility of meeting someone nicer, cuter, more interesting and adventurous was worth losing me, even if that other person isn't out there/may not want him. the list of possible equations could go on, but in conclusion: well fuck you too, andy.
it always sucks being walked away from, this is true. so my little rant may not mean much to others who have been dumped/discarded. nor do i expect people to read this and think, my dear god, that is awful! because it'll happen to everyone at least once, so i don't consider myself alone in this category. but if i start to act really quiet around you and your significant other, or if i suddenly start crying while watching the goonies, then you'll know why. and you won't have to have me explain myself all over again. but i'll get over it eventually.
oh well. he didn't like al green that much anyway....and that's never a good sign.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/angry.gif) cynical
Current Music: camera obscura - let's go bowling
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June 16th, 2005
11:27 pm - RESPOND EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME
ok here's a survey for anyone to respond to in the reply section. i like to ask pretty random questions sometimes.
screw that lj cut crap.
****Boring stuff****
1. who are you? megan
2. why are you reading my journal? because i write fantastic amazing stuff.
3. what school do you attend? school of the art institute of chicago
4. ok enough of that.
5. if you are in france and you call someone a douchebag, what do you think their reaction would be? they would cry.
6. have you ever yelled at a child that you weren't related to? only when they deserved it.
7. how much in debt from your "education" are you in? millions. or it might as well be considering it'll take me 20 years to pay it off.
8. what did you want to be when you were younger? an artist. still not sure what kind...
9. what are you wearing right now? a beatles t-shirt and pj pants with cracked out owls on them.
10. when was the last time someone cooked for you? my mom cooked some chicken, potatos and veggies on sunday night.
11. have you ever hit a car while riding your bike? yes and now my toe is all black and hurty because of it.
12. who was your first real big celebrity crush? luke skywalker (mark hamill....ok he was much cuter in 1978)
13. dumbest thing you've ever bought: college
14. dumbest thing you've ever done: not put oil in my car and killing it :(
15. first thing you'd buy if you won the lottery: after paying off my debts, probably a nice older car and then an apartment.
16. would you give other people money if you won the lottery? i'd hold interviews. my motto would be "i ain't the bank, bitches". and i'd probably give some money to charities after i research them to make sure i know exactly how they spend their money.
17. first thing you'd grab if a fire started in your house: my computer then my photos. this bitch is expensive.
18. how many cd's do you own? i honestly don't know but it's not much.
would you rather:
19. sleep 12 hours of everyday or never sleep again? never sleep again.
20. live inland in a giant mansion or on the beach in a tiny house? i'd go with the mansion here, assuming i could afford it. houses on the beach get hurricanes, giant bugs. guh.
21. die in a car crash or drown? drown
22. be famous for winning an olympic medal or an oscar? an oscar. duh.
23. go to bed or finish this survey? go to bed.
there you go.
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: patsy cline - so wrong
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im_your_regret's journal
